This balancing of acceptance and change is important not only within individual therapeutic interactions, but within the overall treatment.
While the client learns skills to improve self-acceptance, the therapist employs validation strategies, including the following: Methods of Validation In working with clients, DBT therapists are careful to avoid invalidating behaviors and responses that dismiss, reject, or criticize the client’s emotions and behaviors.
The emphasis on validation in DBT grew out of observations in the late 1970s that many clients experienced behavioral therapy as invalidating; this led to resistance and sometimes withdrawal from therapy.In fact, love is the ultimate expression of approval.So love feeds the same core emotional need as approval does.There are certain core needs shared by every person on the planet.Some of these needs are physical such as food, water, and air. Once our physical needs are met, filling our core emotional needs becomes our number one priority in life. Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, the desire for validation is one of the strongest motivating forces known to man.As a 40 year old I thought ‘To hell with them, I don’t care what they think anymore.’ As a 60 year old, I realized they were all too busy thinking about themselves for me to be more than a blimp on their radar.” The idea that people are watching and critiquing your every move is an illusion. The film on the walls of your mind are projected by your own fears and insecurities. Acknowledge the triggers that set you up for external validation. Our brains trick us into thinking the end of the world is coming!